


Lost - Found

by Sunny_Bappo26



Series: Lost - Found [2]
Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Anxiety, Betrayal, Child Abuse, Enhypen are children, Haunting, Jealousy, Manipulation, Mentions of past abuse, Mild Horror, Mystery, Nightmares, Paranoia, Set in the Past, Trauma, Vampires, a loose take of the storyline, based on given taken, descriptions of injuries, doing the wrong for the right reasons, mentions of mental health, ni-ki centric, somebody is an oracle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28555632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunny_Bappo26/pseuds/Sunny_Bappo26
Summary: They had nothing but each other in their cold hostile world. Everything a privilege to others at birth a bitter memory to the seven orphans marooned in an old orphanage. Wanting more than they were given, they leave to find another journey - not knowing this was but the start of their misfortune.Please read the tags and be aware that some themes may not be appropriate for some readers, thank you :)
Series: Lost - Found [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092197
Comments: 18
Kudos: 44





	1. Light - Dark

Everything was loud. So loud without so much as a single movement. Taking breaths felt dangerous, like even the slight shift in air would condemn them to failure. Pressing small bodies to the cool bricks of the building, seven pairs of eyes watched steadily the side of the orphanage. They had to get things right, this was their only chance of slipping out undetected and away into the young of night. It was a gamble, like using weighted dice in a game you know you have no chance of winning - but they had no choice but to go all in. As the boys shuffled anxiously to the edge of the building the eldest gestured his hand. Turning around to address his younger brothers, Heeseung spoke quietly, his face a statue of cold determination.

“This is where things get really dangerous. We’ve been ok up till now because we know every inch of the building. Every blind spot, every weakness in the armor. We’ve had cover to duck behind - but when we take the next step, we’ll be vulnerable. Exposed.” Heeseung warned. Every important word emphasized with small but sharp movements. He had a steady voice and his dark eyes betrayed none of the fear he might’ve been feeling. They were all used to fear now, the fear of being alone, the fear of being hurt - it was a constant buzz in the front of their minds controlling how they lived. It had to stop. So they took the initiative.

“Jake, break it down for us.” 

“The ground's keeper has several hunting dogs he has patrolling the grounds with him. They’re quick and they have a strong bite. About the walls they’re a couple hundred yards away and surround every side of the orphanage- they look thick but they’re not impossible to jump if we help each other up.” Jake was softer spoken than Heeseung, his arm wrapped securely around Jay’s shoulder as he re-introduced the necessary information. If Heeseung’s eyes said nothing, Jake’s eyes reflected enough emotion for the two boys. 

“If things go wrong and we get separated do not let the dogs corner you by the walls. If they do it’s a one way ticket back to hell and a nasty scar handed to you on a silver platter.” Jungwon added unhelpfully and loudly. Swatting irritably at the younger boy, Heeseung hissed a stiff command of silence. Anticipation settled into the pours in his skin as he stood straighter and moved away from the wall. Heeseung’s white blouse was scuffed from being dragged across brittle bricks and surfaces - his knees dirty and raw from scraping across wooden floors; and in each of the younger boys he was leading he saw a reflection of himself. It was then he promised himself he would keep them all safe to the best of his abilities.

“Listen, we move as a unit. Slow and steady. If we stick to the back wall and climb up near the corner we might just be able to get out into the forest. We shouldn’t stand out if we stay in the shadows.” Sounds of understanding came from the other boys. Taking a collectively deep breath, a beat passed before they all began moving. Walking on the sides of their feet and holding their breaths the boys made steady progress as the wall grew taller and more intimidating. Gentle thuds on the concrete echoed across the courtyard. 

Faint noises in the distance disturbed their progress as shouts and clangs became more audible. It was when a distant observation about the missing boys was heard that dogs began barking. Heeseung shot into action, reacting quickly and pulling the other boys with him.

"Forget slow and steady, we need to be quiet and quick. C'mon." The seven boys broke into a sprint, doing their best to avoid looking behind them at their potential doom. Heeseung reached the wall first, followed by Jay and Jake. Kneeling down Heeseung motioned for Jake to stand beside him. Luckily the wall was old and worn, much like the rest of the orphanage - leaving nooks for small boys to use as leverage when climbing. 

"Stand on my knee and Jake will boost you. Hurry." Heeseung didn't have the patience to speak quietly anymore. Jay was quick on his feet, making light work of the wall before sliding down and landing with a crunch on the other side. 

"It's safe, I'll help everyone down." Jay called from the other side, as Sunoo was ushered up next. Shuffling from foot to foot Niki watched as Heeseung and Jake helped his brothers over the wall. Glancing behind them anxiously, Niki felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. Blobs of grey and beams of light emerged from round the side of the orphanage accompanied by black blurs on all fours. His heart was beating heavily against his ribs, rubbing his bones against his veins and tearing through his skin with terror. 

"Niki! We can't let them see us, climb now." Scrambling to the wall, Niki clutched desperately in the Cold brick work and forced himself over the wall on his stomach. Pushing himself over the wall with little care, Niki cried out as he tumbled to the ground--landing on his foot at an awkward angle. Jay cursed and was by his side tugging him to his feet unsteadily. 

"Oh christ, are you ok? Niki you should've been more careful-" 

A piercing whistle interrupted them as Jake appeared atop the wall tugging Heeseung with him. Niki couldn't believe this was happening, if he had sprained his ankle and couldn't run - he was already making the group sitting ducks. 

"Get back here!" A deep voice boomed as several other whistles chimed setting off the dogs once again. The heavy silence of death that had once suffocated the orphanage and it's gardens burnt in the fires of chaos. Landing steadily on their feet, the boys hastily surveyed the group quickly. Furrowing his brows in concern, Jake reached out tentatively to Niki: who was supported by Jay's grip. 

"Please tell me you didn't sprain your ankle." A fear like no other strained the boy's voice, as the threat became greater and greater. Niki wouldn't let himself become the reason for their demise. 

"I'm fine." Niki coughed as he untangled his arm from Jay's and ignored the warm throbbing that grinded into his nerves. Jake knew better than to believe the blond's words, but they were out of time. 

"There!" It felt as though time had crawled to a painfully slow pace as the boys turned to stare fearfully at the source of noise. A raven sang it's omen as the head Sister pointed a grimy nail in their direction. Dangling from her neck a golden cross winking sinisterly in the final light. Alarms crashing like symbols in his thoughts, Niki barely had time to register what was happening before Adrenaline shocked him into mindless action. 

“RUN!” Seven boys scattered at the guttural command - leaving their plan to rot with reckless abandon. Any pain that Niki could've been experiencing was swept away in the flood of his thoughts. The limp, colourless grass that grew in the clearing housing the orphanage seemed to change instantly as he passed through an invisible barrier. Nothing could be nurtured or cherished where they lived, not children, not plants, not life of any kind. It was haunted by an unexplainable evil. The border between their world and a wild New one had been crossed, giving them no choice of tuning back even if they wanted to. 

The forest before him was surely home to some of the tallest trees in the world, towering 60 meters above the orphanage and isolating it in a little bubble of silence. Niki could feel the buzz of life as he neared the darkness and unfamiliarity of the unknown. 

From his field of vision Niki could see that Jungwon and Sunghoon were side-by-side, Sunoo and Heeseung weren't far from one another and that Jake and Jay had reached the border of the forest first. Cupping his hands around his mouth Jake attempted to give loose directions.

"Keep moving forward! Do not stop and do not change direction. We'll lose them in the forest." That was the last Niki saw of the blond and brunette as they vanished between tree trunks and canopy shadows. Veering to his left Niki felt relieved to see Sunghoon and Jungwon reassure his presence by giving a thumbs up over their shoulders. 

"Stay close." Sunghoon warned him as Heeseung and Sunoo followed the path of the forest. There was quite a bit of distance separating the boys when they finally plunged into the forest too. It was a new world, unlike the grey concrete one they'd been suffocating beneath. 

It felt as though a switch had been flipped, as noise resonated around them. High in the canopy the scattered songs of birds and nestled in the shrubs and moss the humming of crickets and beetles. Niki would've appreciated it more if he could concentrate on anything but his shuddering gasps and burning lungs. He wasn't built for long distance running, or heavy exercise - Niki was a clumsy dancer who often-times struggled with technique. 

Through the small holes in the net of the canopy, blossoming hues of gold and salmon bled into the creeping navy of night with the final promise of light. Shadows cast by the sturdy trees cut angrily across the soft emerald and rich pine greens - an issue in the making as the forest became denser the further they ran. Niki had been so focused on himself that he hadn't taken into consideration that Jungwon and Sunghoon were struggling more than him. 

"Heeseung! Jake! Wait -" Jungwon cried, watching hopelessly as they once again vanished. "I have a stitch, I can't breathe." Slowing down, Niki stopped as Jungwon leaned against a tree clutching his side harshly. 

"Jungwon - you aren't going to make your stitch any better by bruising your ribs." Sunghoon scolded between deep breaths. Ignoring Jungwon who had childishly stuck out his tounge, Sunghoon turned to Niki. 

"You sure you're OK? You fell pretty hard earlier." With the initial adrenaline gone, Niki was reminded of his injuries presence. Kneeling down with a whimper - Niki tugged desperately at his shoe and sock to allow his ankle to breathe. The skin around the bottom of his leg was an angry red, accented by rims of purple. Sunghoon gasped in concern as he crouched beside the blonde. Grinding his teeth in pain, Niki bit into his hand harshly to try and distract himself. 

"You too?" Sunghoon asked incredulously as he looked between the two boys. Jungwon muttered beneath his breath as he pushed himself from the tree and stood beside Sunghoon to inspect Niki. Whistling through his teeth, Jungwon recoiled at the sight of purple on pale skin.

"What do we do?" Jungwon groaned, throwing his head back and running anxious hands through his hair. Guilt crushed Niki's thoughts as he swallowed tears that threatened to fall.

"Niki can't run on that foot, let alone walk on it. Jake and Jay are long gone and I have no idea where Heeseung and Sunoo went." He finished, throwing his hands into the air and staring back at the direction from whence they came. Niki was thankful that they'd gone deep enough into the woods for the trees and plants to guard their vulnerability from prying eyes. 

Niki was still too focused on rocking back and forth trying to relive the irritation of running who-knows-how many miles to pay any attention to the two brunettes huddled together whispering furiously to one another. What tore Niki from his thoughts was Jungwon's unceremonious departure. Without a word Jungwon turned and sprinted through the trees.

"Sunghoon, what-"

"Jungwon is going to see if he can get Heeseung or Jake to come help us. He's quicker than me and he should be able to catch up to them." Sunghoon interrupted Niki before he got the chance to finish his sentence, smiling patiently at the boy. Gaping at the dark haired boy Niki fish-mouthed, lost for words. 

" But what about his stitch? Won't he just make it worse?" The concern in Niki's voice elicited a breathy chuckle from Sunghoon as he turned to examine their surroundings. 

"Jungwon's fine. He was just being a drama queen. You know how he is." He hummed, ruffling Niki's hair in reassurance. Crouching down beside Niki's smaller frame, it gave Niki the chance to examine his tired features and lone mole. Sunghoon's recent insomnia manifesting in the form of dark rings around sharp eyes. 

"I hope he's as quick as he said he is. It's starting to get darker and colder, we need to be together if we're going to get through this." Sunghoon had a point, Niki thought as he nervously noted the shadows that had washed over the forest floor. The thick navy blue had swallowed the soft golds and yellows completely--and without a cloud in sight the cool winter air pierced the flimsy material of the worn cotton. Rubbing the goosebumps on his arms Niki shivered. Everything was beginning to ache from the battering served to him from day break to dusk. 

"At least the cold should help reduce the swelling." Niki stated, even though it made the burning more noticeable. Sunghoon scoffed in mock offense and pushed Niki's shoulder playfully, gesturing to his shorts.

"I'm glad one of us is benefiting from the cold."

"Hey! It's not my fault you decided to wear shorts in the middle of winter." Niki protested as he crossed his arms childishly. He was glad Sunghoon was able to joke around and keep the mood lighthearted despite very visibly freezing. His knees were purple and red splotches oozed around his veins highlighting pale translucent skin. 

"I'm sorry that you have to stay here with me." Niki said as a moment of silence washed over them. Staring questioningly at Niki, Sunghoon said nothing as he waited for the blond's elaboration. 

"If I had just been more careful about getting over that wall we might not have been separated." Sunghoon frowned as Niki apologised with watery eyes and tight lips. 

"This isn't your fault Niki. Something was bound to go wrong at one point or another, it would've been impossible for somebody not to have gotten hurt with how dangerous our lives are. It just happened to be that lady luck wasn't on your side today." Niki didn't have a reply, not fully believing the brunette's words. Burying his face into his arms, Niki desperately tried to swallow his fear and guilt. 

A loud snap stuttered Niki's heart beat as he scanned the trees in alarm. Sunghoon had jumped to his feet and motioned a finger over his pursed lips. Niki held his breath, frightened of alerting whatever was out there to his existence. With small, hesitant steps Sunghoon edged closer to the source of the sound. Dread, in the form of the devil, breathed down his neck and dribbled down his back. 

No. Sunghoon don't leave my line of sight. Please no. 

Niki prayed silently, urging the older boy to come back to him. The steady rustling of leaves and the snap of a few twigs were the only things comforting Niki about the brunette's well being after he had shuffled into the shadows. He'd almost let himself believe that an animal was the thing that had startled them and that Sunghoon would come round the corner laughing and joking any moment. A startled cry and heavy thump shattered any hope Niki had left.

This is bad. This is bad. This is so very, very bad. 

"Sunghoon?" Niki muttered, voice barely audible as he strained his ears for any indication that his brother was Ok. None. The birds no longer sang, having settled into their nests for rest, the crickets no longer buzzed in the bushes having retreated back into the fishers between the ferns and leaves. The forest held it's breath as Niki staggered to his feet, every worst case scenario flashing through his thoughts . Deep murmurs resonated throughout the forest, making Niki's body buzz like a live wire. Grunting at the weight he had to support on his swollen ankle, Niki followed in Sunghoon's footsteps - doing his utmost to forget the prickly feeling of being watched. 

"Sung-" Niki choked on his words. Laying in the shadows only a few feet away from him was a motionless figure. Somebody had incapacitated Sunghoon and was watching Niki - waiting for their chance to pounce. Hysteria muddled Niki's ability to think or act rationally as he limped forward another step and reached out a trembling pale hand. 

What do I do? Someone is watching me - waiting to attack me like they did Sunghoon. Oh god. Sunghoon how do I help you? How do I help myself? Where's Jungwon?

Niki turned, eye's shaking as they searched everywhere for anything that could help him against the attacker. He wanted to say something, he wanted to scream for help, scream at his attacker, scream for Sunghoon to wake up, but Niki couldn't force a single sound from his constricted throat. His body was shaking violently, but this time he had more to blame than the cold. 

Agitation flared in his chest and clashed violently with his terror as the leaves rustled rhythmically, laughing and mocking how helpless he was. Niki hated the forest almost as much as he hated the orphanage. It was cruel and bitter, with the only redeeming quality of being beautiful. 

Wincing as a sharp object collided with the back of his head, Niki spun around thoughtlessly to meet luminous golden eyes. They bore holes through Niki's soul, looking through him almost as if he were transparent and absorbing every detail of his soul. 

Dread was the final thing Niki could comprehend as a razor bite peeled a layer of skin from his neck and gifted a pain worse than any other; it painted his vision white, knocked his thoughts into static and turned his blood icy. Niki hit the ground like a brick, paralyzed and dazed. He couldn't keep his eyes open as visions of little girls singing lulled his heart to a stop and brought about a night longer than any lifetime.

  
  



	2. You - Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being bitten Niki deals with the immediate mental struggles that follow the vampires poison. Unsure of what his life was before or what his purpours used to be, Niki finds that his memories elude him with immortality looming over him like a storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this chapter took so longer to publish. I was really struggling with writing this past week and online school started up again two weeks ago. Having said that please enjoy, this is where things begin to get interesting.
> 
> (and thank you to one of my best friends who helped draft the dialogue for this chapter, you're amazing)

Every moment dragged a second too long, eternity twisting like a knife in Niki’s gut as he drifted aimlessly along the border of light and dark. His thoughts echoing around the endless void, responding between snickers and sneers. Niki could best describe what he had deemed his dream as a backwards Carnival - one where chaos made a fool out of any that stepped onto its broken carousel and exploited each insecurity by pushing them like coins into the game of Niki’s mind. Staring at his surroundings scrutinizingly Niki sardonically noted that his mind’s game was faulty. He had no recollection of others or existence before the scorching darkness and freezing light.

Niki hadn’t moved from where he resided on a small island of grey between the extremities of what could be considered evil and good. He had no intention of moving, not while yesterday was the key to his future and his future was stuck in a moment a fraction before Niki’s current existence. The whispers seemed to become impatient as they danced between the two worlds, slowly becoming tangible and glaring holes through his indifferent being - urging his attempt to wake from dreamless sleep. 

A familiar yet alien noise- an unwelcome noise from behind him, stilled Niki’s slow breaths. The whispers had dwindled into scattered murmurs - sharp eyes now pointed on something just behind Niki’s head. Turning, Niki furrowed his brows and studied the animal before him. Grey fur, riddled with grey and sharp teeth pulled into a threatening scowl. The creature he could recognize, but felt as though he was looking through the lense of a cracked telescope. Like liquid the memory slipped between his fingertips, caught only when the dog rushed forward. Clenching his eyes shut and throwing his arms in front of him in defense Niki choked in fear. Colours like bullets painted sloppy images of an attempted escape from several dogs identical to the one lunging at him. A violent clang startled even the murmurs as Niki’s soul twisted uncomfortably. Twitching slightly, Niki’s now open eyes fell upon the bloody animal at his feet. A thought ticked at the back of Niki’s head as he studied the liquid that was now lapping at his pristine leather shoes. 

Unlike his white, white skin, or his black black trousers, the liquid that began to bubble as it spread into the darkness or freeze as it inched into the light was an ominous red. Any sense of peace was torn from Niki's skin as the inexplicable need to escape. As though struck by a live wire the machine of the void drummed up a low hum- Niki's vision tilting as matter moved and churned beneath his feet. 

_Faulty._ Niki grimaced when struck by the realisation. _Faulty machines are dangerous._

He couldn't stay in his head forever, he couldn't stay still forever and watch as everything crumbled into chaos around him. Letting his urge to run crush him, Niki turned tail to the dead dog and rushed along the deteriorating border of life and death. Each heavy step dragging his thoughts through razors as memories filtered into his mind. 

Groaning at the sharp sting behind his eye sockets, Niki closed his eyes and concentrated on what his memories looked like. He was running to escape… Niki pulled a blank as he considered the dogs, yes he had run from them but they wouldn't have rooted a fear so deep into his soul's cracks to make him consider death as a possible salvation. 

The answer eluded Niki as he hissed in irritation. An irregularity on the smooth monochromatic surface of nothingness forced Niki's eyes open as he struggled to gain his footing. Stunned, Niki slowed to examine the dark trees now towering around him. The bark of the wood moved and scuttled as though it were made of beetles and the roots withered like snakes against the ground - snapping and cracking as they bent unusually. Niki's head was spinning like a merry-go-round as he took unsteady steps backwards. 

"You look a little… Lost." 

The voice that had spoken was long and wispy. Soft yet clear as it addressed him above the forest's song. 

"I'm up here, Niki." Something about his name being spoken felt violating, as if the person knew more about him then he himself knew. Slowly tilting his head, Niki strained his eyes trying to identify the dark figure perched steadily on a tree branch. The only features recognizable in the shadow of the leafless trees were the sharp, feline like eyes smiling down at him. 

"You don't need to look so scared. I don't bite." The male almost purred. "On second thought perhaps I do. Why don't you chat to me for a bit and find out? 

Unsettled Niki clenched his fists and grit his teeth. Like a rabbit cornered by a fox Niki felt ensnared by the piercing gaze. Chuckling the stranger pushed himself to his feet, growing taller and more intimidating as Niki realised with a start that he was preparing to jump. Gracefully landing with an almost inaudible thump in front of Niki, the sudden proximity was enough to send Niki sprawling backwards onto the ground. 

Horror and confusion replaced the irritated scowl on Niki's features. Wide eyes stared through blond bangs to meet a familiar face. 

Absorbing everything from the shape of his ears to the mole on his chin, the reality hit Niki light a train. There, standing before him like the picture of terror personified, was himself. Dark ebony hair, and cold, cold eyes. His orphanage appointed white blouse, pressed trousers and shined leather shoes swapped out instead for a long leather coat, a charcoal grey button up and thick boots. 

"The blond is cute, but i much prefer having naturally dark hair. It really brings out the colour of my eyes, you know?" 

Silence was the only reply Niki supplemented, too disorientated to so much as pry the creeping tree roots from his ankles. Clicking his tongue, the dark haired Niki snapped the plants and hauled the blond to his feet. Observing closely as the other shook dark hair from his eyes and brushed dirt from the white shirt on his shoulders Niki found his voice. 

"You're me," Dark haired Niki raised a brow and tilted his head as though he were considering the statement.

"In a way, Yes I am. I am you, and you're me - but I'm a separate entity entirely to what you may think I am."

"You're the me in my head, aren't you?" 

"No." Came the deadpan response. 

"Let's make this easier, shall we? Everything you were, are, and could have been are me: Riki. You are everything you have been and will cease to be. I'm in your head now, but I know everything you are and everything you will be."

Something about the way Riki spoke rubbed Niki the wrong way. The gentle voice sounded like it belonged to another as it slipped past sharp slopes in the lips. Riki fed Him information through a poisoned chalice, one where his words would slowly corrode Niki’s boundaries as he stepped closer, and closer. It was a dangerous thing to stare into the open flames of hidden intentions as Niki grew more bewildered.

"That doesn't make any sense!" 

"Maybe it doesn't now- But it will," Riki argued, spreading his arms. "If we had the luxury of time I would explain every detail, but you're in danger." 

“Danger of what? A dog? These trees? You?” Niki’s voice rose in pitch after every question. His mind was in disarray, each thought damaging his rationality and stirring his nausea. Growling in frustration, Riki tightly grabbed Niki’s arms and shook him violently, dark eyes blazing.

“You’re in danger of this stupid place! You saw what happened once that dog attacked you. The fabric of this cozy little lie you’ve built for yourself began to crumble. You can’t stay here if you don’t want to get hurt.” The unkind words only made his body hurt more. Tears collected in Niki’s eyes, clouding his vision and making his counterpart soft at the edges.

“I don’t understand,” He sobbed. Niki felt like a weak, wounded animal desperately crying out for something, anything that could comfort him and ease the excruciating longing in his heart. Nothing made sense, and Niki just wanted to dissolve into nothingness. Niki was sure Riki had said something, but over the sound of his tormented wails he heard nothing.

It was then hands cold enough to burn, firmly grabbed his temple. White flared across his vision, as Niki lost all feeling in his body. Like a ragdoll Niki crumpled forward, body going limp in Riki's unwavering grip. The veil that had been with-holding Niki's memories was lifted, flooding the unconscious boy with tsunami's of information. 

Time passed as though it were underwater, allowing Niki to subconsciously fill in the blanks and grasp who he was and what he knew. Feeling slowly ebbed back into his leden limbs and the throbbing that had hindered his ability to function had subsided substantially. It was the least amount of pain he had felt in the past week, to the point where the blond could ignore it entirely in favour of forcing open heavy lidded eyes. 

What greeted him was the warm glow of a blue sky and the soft kiss of a spring breeze; there wasn't a cloud in sight. Blinking, Niki sat up abruptly examining the desert-like area. It was a far cry from where he previously resided in his dream. 

"How d'you like the change of scenery, Nik? You were taking your time while being unconscious, despite the fact that I told you we didn't have the luxury. You're welcome, by the way." In the center of the sandy clearing there stood a monument of ruined metal and torn cloth. It was increadibly unimpressive, and an eye-sore on the landscape, yet there was something urging Niki to get closer to it.

Getting to his feet with relative ease, Niki brushed the sand from his creased trousers. Shielding his eyes with his hand Niki rested a hand on his hip and scowled up at the boy once again dangling from the bars atop the structure like a wild animal. 

"Yeah, sorry for being knocked unconscious. It was totally my fault, and by my fault I mean yours, because we're the same person." 

"Also, I'm not going to thank you, or me for that matter, because this is the stupidest dream I have ever had. There are no consequences, you're just an annoying version of myself made up because I feel guilty about screwing up the plan." Niki's tone was sharp as he yelled up at Riki. The brunette did not take anything that was being said well. Irritation that matched his own gripped Riki as he looked down on the blond. 

"You're stupider than you look. I've already told you that we're different people. I helped you when I could've just left you to rot between nothingness. I could've pushed you into the darkness and watch as your skin slowly melted and oozed from your bones, or I could've hung you in the light to see your limbs turn blue and get ripped from your body."

"I have had every opportunity to damage you both mentally, and physically; yet out of the kindness of my heart, I have instead shared with you my memories and dragged your dead weight to safety. Yet you have the audacity to be in-greatful. _Never_ confuse us to be the same person again, or you _will_ live to regret it, Niki Nishimura."

Running a hand through his hair, Niki took a deep breath and looked away from Riki to collect his breath. He could argue with himself forever, god knew he had enough ammo to shoot himself down with self loathing for days. Riki was clearly upset as well, perhaps for different reasons than the blond. Every fibre of Niki’s being said that what he was doing would end badly, that despite there being some truth in Riki's words, there was most definitely deception as well. Niki may have been young, but he wasn't as naïeve as everyone seemed to believe he was. 

Defeated, Niki stared at his feet a moment longer before he fixed Riki with a steady stare. 

"I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with dreams like this, I'm confused and not thinking straight -" 

"Exactly." Riki interjected with a pretentious tone, picking at his fingers. 

"...Can you help me get back to my friends?" 

"Sure." The brunette shrugged, stretching. "But you aren't going to like Sunshine." 

"Why." It was less of a question and more of a challange. 

"You're going to need to snap an ankle. To wake from sleep you need to stimulate your senses. As a result of your ballet dancers grace, your ankle is twisted and swollen. So, if you think you've hurt your ankle, your ankle will begin to hurt and wake your body." 

Logically, Niki couldn't disagree with the general statement. Whenever he got hurt in his dreams his body would jolt as though it had been talking. The result, he supposed, of not knowing what came after death. The prospect of snapping his ankle, or injuring himself purposefully however, wasn't best pleasing. 

"Don't be a wuss Nik." Riki taunted as though he sensed Niki's doubt. Smiling sadistically, Niki saw what could've been the beginnings of fangs between the brunettes front teeth. 

_"Come up here to me, and I'll help you jump."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anybody is confused, this is closely tired to the small drabble I wrote before this called 'reflections'.  
> Vampire's didn't have reflections because of the silver infused in mirrors, but Niki is shown to have a reflection that acts differently to how he does. That is because the reflection is Riki.  
> It's important to note that Riki is a version of Niki, But is a seperate entity. He knows what Niki knows, as well as what he doesn't. He is what Niki could become.  
> If any questions are asked i shall do my best to explain without spoiling anything :)  
> Thank you for patiently waiting for the update.


	3. Day - Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things were not going to plan, not in the slightest. Jake was no fool, he knew from the word go that life was unpredictable - uncontrollable; but the anxiety of being separated from the younger boys made him restless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long it took me to upload the third chapter. My mental health recently just went Woosh ⬇️, so I really struggled with writing this chapter and getting it to a quality I was happy with. Ideally I would've liked to have had this chapter longer, with more happening and more interactions between the characters, but that would've taken even longer and I know that it gets difficult to remember what happens between long gaps in updates.

Things were not going to plan, not in the slightest. Jake was no fool, he knew from the word go that life was unpredictable - uncontrollable; but the anxiety of being separated from the younger boys made him restless. He and Jay had reached the woods first and without waiting for the others they dived headfirst into shark infested waters. Like predators the trees forced the two boys along a path of gravel and loose stones. The darkness swimming at the edge of the path intimidating enough to keep the boys on route. 

Running along the fairly even ground was a luxury Jake was sure the other boys didn't have - Something he was grateful for tenfold considering the fragile state of his lungs. Sucking air loudly through his teeth, Jake's eyes ventured over his surroundings in an attempt to clear his thoughts of ugly anxieties and the uncomfortable rub of his ribs against rough material. His mind was afloat with worries as the brunette struggled with intrusive images of mangled bodies, shattered bone fragments tearing through skin and crimson coating green. 

Anxiety and asthma were a duo that brought Jake to his knees often - he hated himself for how weak they made him and how vulnerable that left the rest of the boys as a result. His pace was now slower than Jay's as Jake fell behind in the storm of his turmoil. Breathing quicker Jake weakly gripped the front of his shirt in an attempt to force his heart to slow down, slow down,  _ just slow down please.  _

"Jake - Jake you're strong, look at me, just concentrate on breathing with me as we run, ok?"

Concentrating on Jay's words Jake nodded quickly. Grasping the line of support Jay had thrown to him, Jake anchored himself and took a deep breath. He was with Jay, he had escaped a place of neglect and abuse, and he had faith in his brothers to be safe and reach them in one piece. He could do this. He was strong. Pushing himself forward, Jake let a small smile of victory grace his lips; he had regained his pace beside Jay aided by a sudden burst in adrenaline. 

"Good. In, and out. Just a bit further and we can rest, you're doing so well." Jay's gentle yet firm words of encouragement motivated Jake every time. He was his constant, a comfort he was so glad to have beside him when everything went to hell in a hand-basket. 

" Up ahead! There's a shed we could use as a rendezvous point." Jay gestured excitedly. Blinking up in surprise Jake's brows quirked at the sight of the small wooden shack. It looked to be no bigger than one of the bathrooms in the orphanage - with undergrowth and moss climbing up the first few feet of the outer walls. There was a visible hole in the roof and it looked as though the shed was sealed shut with a rusty old padlock. Jake wrinkled his nose in distaste at the metal, it looked as though it were crawling with something - he feared they'd contract some sort of illness like Tetanus if they went anywhere near it. 

Slowing to a walk, Jake leaned his hands on his knees as he gasped for air. "Don't you-" Inhaling loudly Jake put out a hand for a moment to catch his breath. "Don't you think it's a bit on the nose? We're runaway orphans that haven't slept or eaten properly for days without a plan and this is along one of the few distinguishable paths in the forest. Isn't this one of the places they'd look first?" 

"Perhaps, but it's too obvious a place for us to hide so they won't check it. It's hiding in plain sight." 

Biting the inside of his cheek Jake pursed his lips and nodded stiffly. The urge to bicker with Jay about the meaning of being 'hidden' a challenge to swallow. Watching as the blond approached the door of the shed for examination, Jake silently turned to guard the path they'd just ran. Rocking on the tips of his toes, the brunette kept his limbs moving so to avoid the acidic burn in his muscles for as long as possible. 

The fade of orange and flood of navy blue stirred feeling inside Jake's chest. It was getting a lot colder now, an unpleasant breeze snapping at the brunette's arms as it rolled through the gravely path picking up leaves and rocks. He had faith that Heeseung would keep Sunoo safe and out of trouble without issue; but as responsible as he knew Sunghoon was, Jake couldn't see him being able to keep an injured Niki and accident-waiting-to-happen Jungwon in one piece. 

A loud clang startled Jake out of his thoughts. Jay was looking proudly at the cracked lock on the ground as he threw down a sharp rock and wiped blood on his shorts. Discomfort pricked Jake's neck at the sight of blood trickling down pale skin, the rim yellow and green, promising an infection. 

"You alright?" 

"Of course." Jay brushed off Jake's concern, drying the last of the blood. Tugging at the door, Jay furrowed his brows and wedged his fingers underneath the peeling wood. A loud crack followed by a grating shriek cut through the ambience of the forest. Struggling, and grunting against the dry soil Jay pushed himself to his feet, successfully ignoring the dirt that had now been lodged between the blushing cut. 

"C'mon, " Jay poked his head inside the small building, pulling the door open to allow the last of any natural light to illuminate the sparse contents. Jake couldn't see much from where he stood, rigid with the tension of reliving past memories; against the wall closest to the door was a mattress packed full of holes and sharp springs and hanging on an unsteadily placed shelf was a dusty lantern. 

Standing on his toes to reach for the lantern, Jay disappeared inside the shack, leaving Jake to sway in the bitter breeze. Like a lever had been pulled, Jake listened as the nocturnal wildlife gradually filled the lingering silence. Almost peaceful.  _ Almost _ . 

Blinking twice, Jake realised how dark it had gotten. Having adjusted to the shadows swallowing heaven's light, Jake's eye's had become accustomed to the ambiguity of night. 

Foreign sounds similar to cries stood out against the background noise like a siren would in the mountains. Jolting to attention, Jake strained against the bird song to separate and examine the new noise. He was eager to identify it as a strange animal - a fox perhaps; but the paranoia of being found and dragged back into a cold wooden room, chained to the wall and led to starve in the white light of winter kept Jake checking twice. 

"Over there"

“What- Careful.”

“Somebody could be around.”

The words were spoken clearly as the cries ebbed into a legible language. The short snippets of dialogue separated by a long, dull, rustle - like something being dragged along the ground. Abandoning any hope he had at staying calm, Jake let his anxiety burst and seep from his seams in the form of a cold, cold sweat. Scrambling forward, Jake ducked to keep his head down as he hurriedly grabbed Jay and forced the door shut behind him. 

"What the-" The shock in Jay's voice was muffled as Jake clasped a clammy hand over his mouth. Clutching the worn lantern in his hands tighter, Jay peered up at the brunette pressed so tightly against him. 

"Someone's coming," Jake hoarsely whispered, trembling against the steady figure of what little comfort he had left. Sucking air through his teeth Jay all but hissed as he pushed Jake's hand from his mouth and moved to stand protectively in front of the brunette. From the firm grip on his arm, Jay could feel Jake’s racing pulse, anxiety was rolling off him in waves making the atmosphere thick. 

Darkness fused with darkness, the night blinding Jay twice despite his desperate wishes for the guide of moonlight; the beginning of the end laying the bricks of the path ahead of them and tearing down the home they boys had built in one another piece by piece. The moon would shine in the later hours of the night, illuminating ebony feathers on the crow that carried death. 

Voices coming closer, Jay let the last of his composure that hung by a thread snap. He was scared, scared and ready to smash glass into an impostor's skull before grabbing Jake and running once again for their lives. 

"Place him down against that tree, be sure not to get any more muck on him than there already is." The authoritative voice commanding movement beyond the creaking walls of the shack sent relief sinking through the boys like a stone in water. 

The tension all but shattered in Jake's body as he crumpled to the ground, exhausted behind Jay. Closing his eyes and letting his body go limp beside the mattress Jake could easily ignore the growl of his stomach. It had been an emotionally exhausting fortnight and the brunette no longer had the energy to be anxious.

Fumbling for a moment with the lamp, Jay opened the tin of matches that had been hiding amongst the decomposing leaves and scuttling beetles. His palm was beginning to go numb from the cold surface of metal, something he was silently thankful for as it eased the tingle of pain. Lighting the lamp successfully, Jay let his eyes adjust to the sudden shift from darkness and scanned the walls swiftly before forcing the door open. 

Four figures turned quickly, reflexively shielding a fifth figure slumped against a tree to their left. Smiling brightly, Jay mentally thanked any and all divine beings that he had been correct about who it was the calculating voice belonged to. 

Heeseung stood tallest amongst the younger boys, his hair swept back from the wind and his habit of his hands through his hair when stressed. Jay could see the exhaustion in Heeseung’s tense shoulders and hostile eyes, the eldest was normally more careful with guarding his body language. 

Sunoo looked small beside Heeseung, his arm wrapped delicately around the others with wide, frightened eyes. The younger had a cut running along his cheek bone, it looked out of place and foreign.

Sunghoon looked a little worse for wear, with a dark bruise growing on his forehead, and large rips in his shirt. Jay sympathised with how cold the brunette must be in his shorts and ripped shirt, the clear night was unforgiving. 

Glancing over at Jungwon, Jay wasn't sure what to feel. The boy looked a little too relaxed for their situation. He wasn't tense, nor relieved, nor out of breath. The brunette simply stood with a furrowed brow and crossed arms. If anything looked different, Jay concluded, it would be the boy's eyes - but it felt more like Jay was reaching now than being logical. He shouldn't be suspicious, or jealous, or accusatory. Jay was glad to see Jungwon and that was final. 

Heeseung was the first to move. Letting his shoulders drop, the eldest quickly walked forward to pat Jay firmly on the shoulder; a small relieved smile tugging at his lips. 

"Is Jake in there?" Heeseung asked, a Grim look of reluctance set in stone as he bit chapped lips. 

Jay nodded, moving for Heeseung to step past him before beckoning Sunoo over with open arms. The relief from having his younger brother nestled safely in his arms dissipated when his eyes landed on the youngest boy. Releasing Sunoo, Jay took a hesitant step forward with the light to better inspect what had happened. 

Running along the side of his neck was a large ugly area of peeled skin, arteries and blood vessels ebbing beneath the second layer of bright red. Rocks were wedged between the ridges and folds of torn skin, further eliciting concern as there was nothing to clear or cover the wound. The worst thing by far however, we're the deep punctures pumping rivers of crimson; the discomfort and pain of the piercing cold against such a vulnerable injury coupled with the ache of hunger, haze of dehydration and burn of his twisted ankle painted agony on the youngest boy's features.

"I couldn't help him. I'm so sorry." Sunghoon whispered crouched beside Niki. Meeting Jay's eyes, the guilt and fear glinted like daggers in the depths of misty brown. The brunette's hands were covered in blood, he'd evidently attempted to put pressure on Niki's wound in order to stop the blood loss. 

Gaping at Sunghoon, Jay was left speechless. He didn't know what to do, or what had happened. At a loss Jay shook his head and sighed, crouching down to. Sunghoon's level and wrapping an arm around him. He wanted to reassure him, tell him everything would be alright, but how could he? Jay couldn't focus properly on Niki's face, shock like ice cold water freezing his ability to comprehend what was happening around him. 

_ How can we deal with this? We don't have any water, disinfectant, food, bandages, nothing.  _

"What?" An astonished cry pulled attention to the commotion emerging from the shack. 

"Niki!" Jake rushed forward arms outstretched as he fell to his knees beside the blond. He ran gentle hands along Niki's cheeks, hesitating at the sight of his bloody neck. Digesting what had happened, Jake's shoulders shook as he sniffed and wiped at his watering eyes. 

"We've found everyone, so I think it's time you both explained what happened. Truthfully." Heeseung stated, rubbing Jake's shoulder as he cried from exhaustion. Pulling away from Sunghoon, Jay collected Sunoo in his arms once again, walking to Heesung's side and staring expectantly between the two boys. 

The world was tilting around them, something watching from the tree tops, perched expectantly, bright eyes focused on the youngest boy twitching and shaking violently. Smiling, it noted with pleasure the moon inching over the canopy of forever. How they would explain it, they had yet to demonstrate, but the tension brewed thicker than the numbing temperatures. 

Shadows cast from the flicker of Jay's lamp watched the six boys stand in silence, helpless and tired, having fallen victim to an adversary who had yet to gamble their lives for eternity. The game was set, each piece in place and waiting for their turn - willing or not - the seed's of doubt and suspicion planted, growing roots thicker than family ready to tear apart relationships. 

The line on which the boys stood was about to become blurred. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway I hope that all made sense, and that the relationships between characters doesn't seem forced. I'm not the best at dialogue so I apologise, but I did enjoy exploring more of Jake's character in this chapter (he is my bias and I adore him to bits).  
> I wonder what happened? 🤔 Seems kinda sus if you ask me.  
> Also, incase anyone is confused, this is all happening at the same time as what happened in the last chapter :)  
> I think each update is around two weeks apart, so I'll try and maintain that routine between online school and maintain ok-Ness.


	4. Truth - Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night was as cold as his body. There was no difference to him now. Going back to that place would change nothing about his circumstance.

"A blind man would be able to see through your lies as the sun sees through glass. What kind of fool do you take me for?" Heeseung's tone was vicious as he spat impatiently through ground teeth. The brunette was tired, and had run thin of patience several hours ago - leaving him a live wire of hostility as he dealt with the two younger boys standing before him. 

Shifting from one foot to another Sunghoon had the decency to look ashamed, unlike Jungwon who was glaring daggers into the scuffed leather of his shoes. They didn't look or sound confident as Sunghoon mumbled a reply. 

"We don't take you for any kind of fool."

A rough, humourless laugh came from the tallest boy's lips as he raised a brow. Part of him childishly amused at the very consideration that the two naïeve children stood before him with bowed heads would be able to deceive him. Lies in their lives were as prominent as Nitrogen was amongst ocsigen; every moment they breathed lies were fed to them as though it second nature to live with deception - this of course had led to Heeseung observing the ticks and tells of when the truth was swept away from him. 

"Oh really?"

The dry inquiry was coupled with a sardonic smile. Heeseung bit back the satisfaction of seeing Sunghoon's eyes shake, knowing that the icy embrace of night wasn't the only thing making him tremble. 

Blinking at the boy in shorts, the eldest thinly concealed the sinctila of suspicion blooming in his chest at Jungwon unaffected by the unforgiving winter gale. Dark ebony hair was swept in knots and chunks against skin as powdery and pale as chalk. Where the white blouse ended and the small boy's skin began was distinguished only by the transparent tubes mapping the underside of Jungwon's skin. Heeseung hadn't properly had a chance to stop and analyse each of the boy's condition for the past week, too caught up in the flurry of planning, scheming, preparing and escaping. Having said that however - Heeseung had interacted with Jungwon little to none for what could've been a month and a half. 

Sensing the prying eyes, Jungwon interjected stiffly: "Of course."

Expression dropping and lips pressing flat, Heeseung crossed his arms roughly. The ever present pressure of hunger now beginning to boil in the coils of his stomach. Concentrating on the way Sunghoon licked his chapped lips while staring into the shadows, Heeseung frowned. 

"Then what part of falling down a ravine in the forest floor and being knocked out by a rock sounds plausible to you?"

The eldest's frown deepened at the indignant scoff that came from the deathly pale boy. 

"All of it, you don't know what's out here Heeseung, We had to drag Niki out of that pit and by the time I had managed to get you Sunghoon was out cold."

Irritation like a plague spread through Heeseung, tensing his toes to his shoulders. The condescension in the younger boy's words ringing similar to people in his past. A past he no longer wanted to consider his own through disassociation. Stepping forward threateningly Heeseung grabbed the front of Jungwon's shirt and pulled him closer, scowling at the cold radiating off him in waves.

Sunghoon gasped beside them, fidgeting on the spot. The younger clearly wanted to step in, but Heeseung was a figure of authority amongst the boys; and Sunghoon had half the sense to know that going against two authority figures in one day would be the same as chopping the head and back hooves off a horse. 

"Yeah I don't believe that. You know why? Because when Sunoo and I arrived to help you there was no irregularity in the the forest floor nor had enough time passed for you to have fallen down a ravine, gotten Niki knocked unconscious to then drag him out; and for Sunghoon to have fallen unconscious between an animal attack on Niki and our arrival." 

Pausing, Heeseung took a deep breath and lowered the volume of his voice. He was letting his temper control him. Heeseung knew better than to let his emotions cloud his judgement. Never again.  _ He _ was better than the two children who had yet to face a quarter of what he had gone through. 

_ I'm smarter than any of the imbeciles they've tricked in the past. As if I'd ever fall for something so obvious. They don't know who they're dealing with.  _

"That, and, you sound like a child. If you wanted to lie to me maybe you should put a bit more thought into what you want to say." 

Jungwon was finally released from the eldest's firm grip as Heeseung finished speaking. His collar was too tight and his skin was itchy against his bones. He would have heaved a sigh of relief, if he needed to breath. 

Instead the shorter smoothed the creases from his blouse and flicked some mud from his skin. His lips felt as though they'd been sewn together. All the words and feelings he had yet to share with the person he'd once seen as family were caught in his throat. It was so tiring and so patronising to be looked down upon by a control freak. 

Oh how Jungwon wished Heeseung could've been in Niki's place. Bleeding, hallucinating,  _ hurting _ . He hated Heeseung with every fibre of his being, Sunghoon too. The only difference between them? Sunghoon could mask his emotions, he could become the perfect character for a person when they needed it. He was better at hiding the fact that they were playing the roles of the villains.

Not one to be stuck in his head, Jungwon shared a knowing look with his partner in eternity. He would've been comfortable arguing with the elder into the early hours of morning if it meant getting him off their backs. He knew Heeseung wouldn't let the matter go entirely but he would definitely prioritise the dying blond and his injuries over what had initially caused them. 

Tension hung around each of the boys neck's like a nurse. Heeseung was tempted to do something he would never have considered under normal circumstances. The threat on the tip of his tongue being to lock the two boys out of the shed for the rest of the night to suffer the consequences of leaving their youngest in pain; his hesitancy apparent only in the question of:

_ If I do this now, does this mean that I am no better than the Sisters who would chain us in freezing rooms to starve?  _

He had no food or water to offer any of the boys, and he hated to trust Jungwon while left under the supervision of Sunghoon. Distracted from his thoughts, a shiver of disgust dug into the cracks of Heeseung's spine. A thick, wet, gargle followed by ugly chokes and pained groans came from the shed. 

"Shit - Seung! Niki is vomiting blood -" 

Another pathetic gurgle and pained whine interrupted the panicked exclamation. Several voices at once rose in horror, and part of Heeseung was worried about how much attention they'd be drawing over the past half hour - that was however an issue to deal with another time; throwing all caution to the wind Heeseung spoke loudly as he rushed into the shack. 

"Make sure Niki is on his side, he won't stand a chance if he chokes on his own blood - Sunoo, come help me…"

Jungwon let the noise of the living fade into the ambient lul winter. Guilt as sudden as the flap of a hummingbird's wings flashed in the young boy's eyes. It felt almost as though he were reliving it himself - the agony of veins bursting in your chest, forcing jets of blood to pool in your lungs. The inability to breath, panic forcing its way up your throat, panic raising your heartbeat, panic as wave after wave of blood and internal tissue are forced from your body and caught between your teeth. Jungwon felt cold from the memory, colder than he had in a couple of months. 

Pacing forward to stand beside the boy as still as death, Sunghoon waved a hand in front of his face - stealing his attention from the numbing pain of the past. 

"Jungwon. They don't trust us, we need to do something." 

"What can we do? If we stay and try and hide what happened they're going to be suspicious and accusatory, but if we leave we're just going to bury ourselves further in the grave we dug." Jungwon explained tiredly. 

Considering his response, Sunghoon flinched with guilt as Niki's groans of pain became louder. They needed something to patch up the youngest's wounds before he caught an infection. It was possible that he would die during the month of the shift, the victim's body becomes fragile and sustainable to harm due to the destruction of antibodies. Niki also had that swollen ankle and Sunghoon hadn't neglected the detail that Jay's hand had been cut open with god-knows-what. Tapping his foot nervously, Sunghoon sighed. 

"I have an idea, but you aren't going to like it." 

"Try me," Jungwon challenged. 

"The warehouse that's on the edge of the forest has the medical supplies we need. If we leave now, We can get there and back before daybreak - once we help with their wounds and properly explain the story we'll easily be able to get back beneath their radar." 

The canopy above them rustled lightly, like paper brushing paper. What was visible of the sky was slowly becoming murkier, as clouds rolled through the northern wind black as the leather on a horses back. It would seem the hours before dawn truly were the darkest. 

Closing his eyes, Jungwon breathed deeply through his nose, trying to remember to the taste of a cold winter's night. It tasted nothing like what it used to, saddening the brunette. The night was as cold as his body. There was no difference to him now. Going back to that place would change nothing about his circumstance.

"Let's go, we don't have any time to waste."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very late so I apologise for that, it seems the moment I tried to set an update schedule I couldn't follow it.  
>  We did however learn some important things in this chapter! We have an insight into how Niki has a distorted view of the boys due to his naïevety as the youngest. He seems them all as increadibly close, but things aren't as they seem.
> 
> We've seen what most of the boys think like now, except for Sunoo. He's our wild card for now. But I hope you're all enjoying these little hints and mysteries I'm attempting XD
> 
> Next chapter will focus on the dynamic between Jungwon and Sunghoon as they go to clean up their mess.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the result of positive feed back on a short fic I posted a few weeks back titled ‘reflections’. I really liked the vibe and concept of given taken so I will be basing the story solely on that mv. My friend and I have discussed the plot thoroughly and I think it’ll be a lot of fun to write and develop :)


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